Seven Years Ago

On the morning of January 1, 2004 I walked out of a beautiful home in a quiet neighborhood ready to face what was sure to be the most wonderful and rewarding part of my life. I remember feeling excitement, hope, and confidence. It was 30 degrees that day, but because of the high humidity it felt much colder. My heart, however, felt as warm and green as a spring day and I didn't pay much attention to the weather. It was my first day out and about (unterwegs) as a full-time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Every New Years Day since then, I have remembered that first day of my mission. It wasn't long after I left the mission home and warm, motherly embrace of my mission president's wife, that I felt all the excitement, hope, and confidence recede into a knot of pure panic. I felt completely helpless, utterly lost, and more isolated than I had ever felt in my life. I had never been so humbled. Everything in Munich was unfamiliar. The language, the money, the food, the toilets, the electrical outlets, the people and the public transportation. My mission companion, a wonderfully patient German, taught me how to survive, how to work, and how to enjoy being a missionary. But it was my Savior who taught me how to love the German people and their country. Even now, seven years later, I miss it every single day.

My mission is indeed the most wonderful and rewarding part of my life. I spent every day for 18 months walking and talking to people from all over the world giving them an opportunity to learn about the modern day restoration of Christ's church to the earth. Some were interested, many were not. Sometimes I wonder if I could have done more in that short time. 18 months looks a lot longer when it's in front of you than when it's behind you. I will probably never know the effects of my missionary service in the lives of others, but I'm ok with that. All I know is that I did the best I knew how, and that's all I could do.

I'm sure at some point or another we're all plagued by feelings of inadequacy. Whether it's as parents, as spouses, as employees, or in any other capacity. We think to ourselves something like, "If I'd only known ..." or "If I only knew then what I know now ..." But that's the beauty of life! It's a one way road. We learn as we go and do the best we can with what we have. I learned many things on my mission, but perhaps one of the most important things is this: Love every minute of your life - even the tough ones. Soak it all up. Experience your life, don't just let it carry you along. Stop every now and then and just take in the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and feelings around you. I think you'll find that if you do that, you'll find fewer things to complain about and more blessings to be grateful for.