In His Hands

These last few days have been very challenging for Daniel and me. Daniel is going through Introductory Flight Screening in Pueblo, Colorado. It's a basic course for aspiring Air Force pilots. They learn the basics of piloting an aircraft, and in a couple weeks they're ready for their first solo flight. Daniel had done very well. He soloed in a short amount of time for someone with next to 0 previous flight experience. We were both pleased with how well he was doing. After the solo flight they have to fly and pass a "Check Ride" before they're given the OK to advance to the next training phase. The check ride is more or less the final exam. Daniel figuratively hit a wall. He hasn't been able to pass the check rides. Yesterday was his last chance. If he failed again, he'd be sent home never to be an Air Force pilot. I did everything I could do. I prayed harder than I'd ever prayed. I asked our families and friends to pray. We had every confidence that God would carry him through and let him pass. Daniel went into that flight with a positive attitude and faith. The flight was awful. Daniel was sure he was done. But, as grace would have it, the instructor pilot grading him and a panel of others gave him another opportunity to fly it again today. That is extremely rare. We are grateful for another try and know that God had His hand in that.

This has been a great trial of my faith. I'm ashamed to admit that last night I felt angry with God. Isn't He a loving God who hears our prayers and answers them? Doesn't He want us to pray to Him and ask Him for help? What more did He want from me? From Daniel? At the time, I didn't see what a blessing it was for Daniel to have been given another opportunity to prove himself. It took me a few hours of mental, spiritual and emotional turmoil to realize that we had to turn this whole matter over to Him. But wait! I thought. This has been Daniel's life long dream! This became my dream too when I married him! I can't hand this over so easily! Then I read this from Elder Henry B. Eyring, "Our Father in Heaven loves us. He hears our prayers and He answers them in the way that is best for us." I took comfort in that last night. Enough that in my emotional exhaustion I was able to say to our loving Father, "Take this from me. I can't do anything more. I am at the edge of my faith. I feel like I'll break if I try to do any more." I felt peace when I finally drifted off to sleep.

When I awoke this morning, I felt much stronger than I did when I went to bed. I felt reassured that Heavenly Father is aware of Daniel and me. He knows what our hearts' desires are. He has not forgotten us nor abandoned us. Like Elder Eyring said, "He answers our prayers in the way that's best for us." No matter the outcome of today's flight, we know that the path God wants our lives to follow will be best for us. He sees the end from the beginning. He will bless us with joy and satisfaction in our lives no matter what Daniel's profession will be. Do I hope Daniel will be successful with a pass today? Absolutely. But if he doesn't, I know that the Lord will show us what He wants us to do instead. We have done all we can do. It is now in God's loving hands.

In this trying time in my life, I say that God lives! I know He is watching over me and over Daniel. He has carried me, kicking and screaming at times, through these last several days. This experience serves a purpose to strengthen our faith, to prepare us for challenges yet to come, to teach us to rely more greatly upon the Lord in our everyday lives and other purposes we may never know in this life. He loves us. We've done all we can do. It is up to Him now and we'll be happy no matter what.